Five Children
So my dumb ass wanted five children. Whenever someone would ask me, “Do you want a family?” I would firmly reply, “Yes, I want five children.” So what exactly was I asking for when I said that I wanted five children? Was I asking for five of my own progeny that will make a difference in the world and take care of me in my old age? Was I asking for little people that I can teach everything that I know so that my legacy will live forever? Maybe I just wanted to make more additions to the phone book under my name.
No! What a man is saying when he says he wants five children is, I want a woman that is willing to have five of my children and raise five of my children. I want to be involved, but not with everything. I want to know that she is going to feed, bath, fit out, and cultivate my five children. If there is a problem at school I know that she is going to take care of it. If someone needs to deal out the punishments, I will play my part and warm some behinds. Wanting five kids really has little to do with the children.
I have two...ten and four. The thought of having three more is very frightening. If the ten year old is not trying to kill, scare, or disfigure the four year old, then the four year old is trying to kill, mother, or spit on the ten year old. Don’t get me wrong they are angels 80% of the time, but the other 20% can take up 100% of your energy. I can’t even imagine what five would feel like.
I can’t imagine it because I never imagined it. Five children would not be my responsibility unless it was time to go to the park, watch the game, have the talk, cut the grass, go to the movies, scare the would be suitors of my girls, barbeque, or lay down the law. Everything else belongs to the mother.
Instead I would complain to my wife about how hard work was. You know stuff like how they changed the lock to the bathroom that is near my desk and how they haven’t made me a key yet. I would tell her that now I have to walk by Sean’s cubical in order to go take a leak, and you know how much that motherfucker can talk. After twenty minutes of my complaining about Sean, my wife would fall fast asleep not being able to get in one word about her day, or how my five children are doing. The five that I wanted.
As she lies there peacefully I will get a moment to take in her beauty. I will look around the room and I will think about her. My children will all be asleep too; although it took my wife some time to get them all to stay in bed, but she is getting better at it. So as I would lie next to my beautifully wife, in my nice house with my five kids, one thought will be going through my head.
I wonder why she didn’t do the laundry?
No! What a man is saying when he says he wants five children is, I want a woman that is willing to have five of my children and raise five of my children. I want to be involved, but not with everything. I want to know that she is going to feed, bath, fit out, and cultivate my five children. If there is a problem at school I know that she is going to take care of it. If someone needs to deal out the punishments, I will play my part and warm some behinds. Wanting five kids really has little to do with the children.
I have two...ten and four. The thought of having three more is very frightening. If the ten year old is not trying to kill, scare, or disfigure the four year old, then the four year old is trying to kill, mother, or spit on the ten year old. Don’t get me wrong they are angels 80% of the time, but the other 20% can take up 100% of your energy. I can’t even imagine what five would feel like.
I can’t imagine it because I never imagined it. Five children would not be my responsibility unless it was time to go to the park, watch the game, have the talk, cut the grass, go to the movies, scare the would be suitors of my girls, barbeque, or lay down the law. Everything else belongs to the mother.
Instead I would complain to my wife about how hard work was. You know stuff like how they changed the lock to the bathroom that is near my desk and how they haven’t made me a key yet. I would tell her that now I have to walk by Sean’s cubical in order to go take a leak, and you know how much that motherfucker can talk. After twenty minutes of my complaining about Sean, my wife would fall fast asleep not being able to get in one word about her day, or how my five children are doing. The five that I wanted.
As she lies there peacefully I will get a moment to take in her beauty. I will look around the room and I will think about her. My children will all be asleep too; although it took my wife some time to get them all to stay in bed, but she is getting better at it. So as I would lie next to my beautifully wife, in my nice house with my five kids, one thought will be going through my head.
I wonder why she didn’t do the laundry?
posted by The Sonflower at 9:51 AM
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