End of an era
Today it became clear that the marriage between my wife and me is over. Because I felt it necessary to talk and because I have no one to talk to at this point I decided to put it on paper.
Talking to her today hurt bad.
Her biggest problem wasn’t if she should try and work things out or leave me. Her biggest problem is how is she going to move all her stuff across country. She hasn’t said she wants a divorce, but she wants to be away from me for the rest of my Marine Corps Career. Which happens to be over two and half years. She did say she would like a legal separation when I asked if she would date in the two and half years. Either way she says she wants money.
Now I’m not getting a legal separation and I will not be married under those circumstances. I’m going to give her a divorce.
When I told her that I never want to look in anyone else’s eyes, that I never want to hold another person, I never want to date or marry again, and that I could never imagine lying down next to another person she said nothing. When I asked her where she saw me in her future she said, “As a friend”.
When I was practically begging her to stay I asked her was their any chance she will be there when I get back? She said if she can’t move all her furniture then she will be there.
Right now I just need legal advice. I need to know about my car. My bills. My stuff in the house. What will happen to all this if she just leaves? Right now out of $530, I get $75. Because we have military housing, her only bills are the phone and $148 for the car. I want to take control of my money.
For most of our relationship she has not worked, but I have told her that she did not have to. I wanted her to do what she wanted to do. Now she is leaving. Why should she continue to live off of me too? I will fight for that. I want my name and pay her nothing for leaving me. If I can have both these things I will be happy. She can use all the money from now till January when I get home. After that point I want no more of her or anyone else living off of me.
I feel she has hurt me enough because of her selfishness. Why should I endure paying her what little I will have after the divorce, so she doesn’t have to work? There are things I want to do.
I feel that now is a good time for a journal because now more than ever I feel my life is starting. In the last decade of my life I have spent the entire time living for two females. Never really doing what I wanted but appeasing one for over four years and the other for almost four years. Now is me time.
I’ve put in a lot of work for these two women and I am very much alone right now. The papers say I am married, but to me I’m not. I just have to make it official. I want to get her out of my life and get on with my live. I want to be alone at least till I get started in a career. I want to find and befriend ME and see what I want to do, and live my life for me. Then when there is no doubt as to who I am and where I’m going I hope to find someone to share it with.
I am glad to have this time to share my thoughts and reflect.
Talking to her today hurt bad.
Her biggest problem wasn’t if she should try and work things out or leave me. Her biggest problem is how is she going to move all her stuff across country. She hasn’t said she wants a divorce, but she wants to be away from me for the rest of my Marine Corps Career. Which happens to be over two and half years. She did say she would like a legal separation when I asked if she would date in the two and half years. Either way she says she wants money.
Now I’m not getting a legal separation and I will not be married under those circumstances. I’m going to give her a divorce.
When I told her that I never want to look in anyone else’s eyes, that I never want to hold another person, I never want to date or marry again, and that I could never imagine lying down next to another person she said nothing. When I asked her where she saw me in her future she said, “As a friend”.
When I was practically begging her to stay I asked her was their any chance she will be there when I get back? She said if she can’t move all her furniture then she will be there.
Right now I just need legal advice. I need to know about my car. My bills. My stuff in the house. What will happen to all this if she just leaves? Right now out of $530, I get $75. Because we have military housing, her only bills are the phone and $148 for the car. I want to take control of my money.
For most of our relationship she has not worked, but I have told her that she did not have to. I wanted her to do what she wanted to do. Now she is leaving. Why should she continue to live off of me too? I will fight for that. I want my name and pay her nothing for leaving me. If I can have both these things I will be happy. She can use all the money from now till January when I get home. After that point I want no more of her or anyone else living off of me.
I feel she has hurt me enough because of her selfishness. Why should I endure paying her what little I will have after the divorce, so she doesn’t have to work? There are things I want to do.
I feel that now is a good time for a journal because now more than ever I feel my life is starting. In the last decade of my life I have spent the entire time living for two females. Never really doing what I wanted but appeasing one for over four years and the other for almost four years. Now is me time.
I’ve put in a lot of work for these two women and I am very much alone right now. The papers say I am married, but to me I’m not. I just have to make it official. I want to get her out of my life and get on with my live. I want to be alone at least till I get started in a career. I want to find and befriend ME and see what I want to do, and live my life for me. Then when there is no doubt as to who I am and where I’m going I hope to find someone to share it with.
I am glad to have this time to share my thoughts and reflect.
posted by The Sonflower at 4:18 PM
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